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Writer's pictureAva Green

Stories with Students: On mothers' love

This quote was edited for clarity and narrative flow, as printed in The Griffin. See below for the full transcription of the interview.


“When I was younger, I used to joke around and say, 'I have two moms,' and now, as I'm growing older, I really appreciate having both moms -- my step mom and my real mom. In 2023, my mom -- she does government stuff back home in Gambia -- came to Buffalo to visit me. I stayed in a hotel with her. My dad was busy with work. It was me, my mom and my stepmom. We went to Marshalls, and we were shopping. They were talking in their language, and, you know, I didn't even care what they were talking about and what was happening. I was just glad we were there, just getting clothes. Naturally, when my mom – my step mom – and I go, she just goes to the ladies clothes, and I just cruise around. But now, they were cruising together, and at the end, I said, 'Ooh, there's a new Creed movie," because I was really into boxing at the time. So, we went to the Regal. My stepmom was on one side. I was in the middle. My mom was on the other side. If I could replay that day every day, like, no amount of money would ever make me give it up.” 

– A.J.



Full Transcription: 


Ava: Do you want to just tell me about yourself? I'm kind of thinking, like, where you're from, your friends and your family, some of your hobbies. Answer it however you want. Why don’t we start with, like, where are you from? 


Abu: I was originally born in Senegal, which is a country in West Africa, and I moved here when I was five years old. My dad brought me here, and I've been living with him and my step mom and my step brothers, but obviously I remove the ‘step’ portion. And, you know, I lived in Indiana for about seven years.


Ava: Wait, so when did you come to Buffalo? 


Abu: About six years ago. 


Ava: So what do you like better? Indiana or Buffalo?


Abu: Um, Indiana is like, I was, like, from the age of five to 12-13ish, so I thought it was peaceful. My neighborhood wasn't really busy. It was a small, white neighborhood. It was just, yeah, small, close knit. And then I want to say it was maybe 2018 when I moved to Buffalo. It's like night and day. Buffalo is like so much -- it was like my version of New York City.


Ava: So yeah, do you want to, like, tell me a little bit then about, um, I don't know, kind of getting used to Buffalo?


Abu: One of the big things was definitely – and it wasn't really a big thing – I thought I, you know, had fit in kind of. I was at the age 13, where I was kind of figuring out myself and, you know, trying to fit and embrace, like, who I am when I'm coming to speak and introduce myself to people, and I'm naturally an introverted extrovert. I was born an introvert, but because of how my parents raised me, naturally I became an extrovert. So I felt like I fit in pretty well. It's a pretty diverse community and everyone loves the bills, even though I know nothing about football. And then I finished sixth grade in Indiana, but I came to Elmwood Village Charter School. I had to redo sixth grade. I did sixth grade again, then seven, eight, and then I did high school. I went to Frederick Law Olmsted. I had a great time. There were a lot of leadership opportunities. 


Ava: Like what? What were you involved with? 


Abu: Oh, for two years I was president of my school's chapter of the NHS. I was co-Vice President of our National Technical Honor Society; the Student Ambassador within the BPS school board. Just a lot of leadership stuff.


Ava: I mean, how did you- like was it just that you were part of the Honor Society and kind of naturally worked up the ranks? Or, like, did you know, 'I want to be a part of these groups and these conversations'?


Abu: Definitely the second one. From the back end of COVID, I knew my freshman year was, like, I was never going to make that up. And sophomore year was kind of transitioning back into that hybrid, six-feet apart desk stuff. So, back-end of sophomore year I'm like, ‘I have to actually lock in.’ So junior year and senior year, I just really capitalized on any opportunities. I was really like- anything I could do to get any leadership positions, because I know it kind of sounds selfish, but I was also doing it for my college resume. 


Ava: And, I mean, did you, like, want to come to Canisius? You can be honest. You can be honest.  


Abu: Canisius was one of my back end choices. Originally, you know, it was a toss up, but I was between Boston University or University of Rochester. I really was, like, diehard on going to BU, but I had to take out eight grand in student loans. But then Canisius offered me the opportunity to come for, you know, full ride, room, board, all of that. And I would much rather do that and make sure my parents don't pay nothing and I don't come up with any student loans. I do have two younger brothers that are, like, in high school and entering the college process. The last thing I want is my parents to pay for them and myself.


Ava: Can you tell me a little bit about your brothers? 


Abu: My youngest brother – he's the baby – he's twe- I'm sorry. He's 14, but in my mind he's still 12. And my other brother, there's like a three year age gap between all of us. He, uh, they're both annoying. I wrestle with them. They kind of motivate me though. My family motivates me. That's really, like, when I wake up every day, it's like I do it for them. I also have my family here, but like when I think back, I have my mom – because I separated from my mom when I was five – I think about my mom and my little sister back in Gambia too. You know, I talked to them via Skype sometimes and WhatsApp calls. But it's like, not the same, you know, I just use them as motivation.


Ava: But, um, how do you, like, deal with that separation?


Abu: I mean, it really helps, because my mom-  my real mom. I'm not even gonna- you understand. My mom understands my situation -- and granted, my dad and my mom did have difficulties during their marriage -- she ultimately knew sending me here with him was the best choice and she was in favor of it. She calls me sometimes, and you know, I always get a little bit teared up. I didn't really grow up with her like any normal kid would. And then I watch my little sister, like, just watching her birthdays in photos, not in real life. That's something that really hits hard for me. But, you know, I've learned to adapt to it.


Ava: Do you, do you remember much of moving, you said, from Senegal to Indiana? Do you remember much of that? Like, you were just five, right? What was that day like? Or those weeks leading up?


Abu: Surprisingly, I do. Like, just like that atmosphere and that 13-hour plane, right? I'll share my college essay with you, but it's all based off of that, like the hamburger meal they gave me. And just, you know, my first year in America. It was difficult because I didn't know English. I didn't know nothing. You know, it took me, I'm gonna say three years, of crying, needing motivation, English as a Second Language classes. Now, when I tell people that they're like, 'There is no way.'  


Ava: So, like, going back to childhood -- this is kind of random, but what did you want to be when you were a kid? Like, when you were little, like, thinking about who you'd be 20 years from then, like, who did you imagine? 


Abu: I wanted to be an astronaut or engineer. But, you know, as I grew up and matured, that kind of broke away, and now I'm really passionate about investment banking, asset management, career wealth management. And I hate to be that guy, but school kind of took that joy away from me, you know, wanting to be an astronaut. And then when I told my teacher that, they're, like, 'First of all, kid, you wear glasses.' 


Ava: Then how did you know? What made you realize you were more into banking, finance; that type of stuff?


Abu: Again, I feel like sophomore year is when I found myself. Electrical engineering, I was set on it, you know. I strayed away from the astronaut. I looked at UB’s and Cornell's expectations, or core requirements, and I saw physics, astro, like, just some of the weirdest stuff. I did not want to go through hell. I feel like I'm not too bad of a student; that I would generally understand it through hard work, but I didn't want to go through it. So I was looking at different fields. I was like, 'Not going to be a doctor. I'm not going to put somebody's life into my hands.’ Then I looked at business, and I feel like business is kinda very vague. So, I looked at what I could potentially do, and I feel like I'm not too bad of a people-person. I felt like with wealth management, I’d have the ability to control, mentor or guide an individual with their finances and things of that nature. I feel like I'd be more compatible with them above just pure technical skill,


Ava: So obviously, you saw yourself as an astronaut when you were a kid. So you now – where do you see yourself as, like, a grown up, you know? Let's say 10-15 years from now. What do you want for yourself by then? 


Abu: All right, so currently 19, and hopefully I'll see 30. I definitely want to be in New York City. I have a very, very, very – I know how it sounds – I have a very ambitious goal of being a millionaire and retiring and all that. So, I mean, around 30, I'd hopefully become a millionaire by then, but I guess that depends on how much I really wanted it. And, you know, I'd live in New York City, be a managing director at hopefully City Bank or JP Morgan, and really just live my life. Hopefully I'd be married, have a couple of kids, settle, something simple. I just want to have the luxury of life -- something I didn't have really that much when I was younger.


Ava: And what is it that kind of draws you to the city?


Abu: When I first went there, we were visiting family relatives, and everyone was just minding their business. Everyone had their own music. People were wearing their own clothes. There was always something going on. I can be myself in Buffalo, but I feel like I could really venture out and like, really be myself in the city.


Ava: Are you more of a busy body then? Do you like that kind of vibe of, like, 'Oh, there's lots of people and lots going on,’? 


Abu: I try to be as social and outgoing as possible, but like, I'll tell you the funny story. I once went to school and I was taking the metro. I saw an older man. I said, 'Hey, how are you?' I introduced myself; chatted for a bit. I got dropped off at school from the bus. I was minding my business; just came back home from soccer practice, and as I was walking back home, I saw him. I was like, 'Wait, hey! Joe!' That's one of the benefits in Buffalo. I just want to meet as many people as possible and just network. I don't want to- I'm sorry if I'm viewing them as, like, assets or like tools or whatever, but I just want to network and, you know, build those relationships. 


Ava: Do you have any relationships or people that have been really impactful to you? Even just a role model or a celebrity?


Abu: I mean, my dad, obviously, but when I was younger, I used to joke around and say, 'I have two moms,' and now, as I'm growing old, I really appreciate having both moms -- my step mom and my real mom -- because, granted, my real mom obviously isn't with me currently, but she still motivates me. And now my current mom, she has just been so impactful. I don't even know how to put it into words. She's been so impactful for me. So I feel like those three are really the people that made me into the individual I am. I don't know if you'll think I’m too nerdy or whatever, but I really like the person I turned out to be. 


Ava: Do you have any special memories with any of them -- with your moms or your dad?


Abu: Actually, yes, now that you said it. In 2023, my mom – she does government stuff back home in Gambia – she came to Buffalo to visit me. I stayed in a hotel with her. My dad was busy with work. It was me, my mom and my stepmom. We went to Marshalls, and we were shopping. They were talking in their language, and, you know, I didn't even care what they were talking about and what was happening, I was just glad we were there, just getting clothes. Naturally, when my mom – my step mom – and I go, she just goes to the ladies clothes, and I just cruise around. But now, they were cruising together, and then at the end, I said, 'Ooh, there's a new Creed movie," because I was really boxing at the time. So, we went to the Regal. My stepmom was on one side. I was in the middle. My mom was on the other. If I could replay that day every day, like, no amount of money would ever make me give up that day.


Ava: Was that the first time that the two of them ever hung out?


Abu: I think they hang out a lot, because my step mom tells me stories about them. They hung out a lot. They were good friends. One request my mom had for my dad was for him to get remarried; that I would still get to be a part of a real family in America. So they always hung out. They were great with each other. I feel like that made it easier, because I know there's a lot of families where there's toxicity, and I feel like just having my stepmom who's so calm, cool and collected, and my mom was also outgoing, it made that transition easier for me.


Ava: Again, just a general curiosity question, but do you have anything, like a mantra or anything that motivates you? 


Abu: There's this, like, just this quote I live by. It's about discipline. I really hold discipline to myself. It's like, 'Discipline is falling in love with doing hard things every day until they become easy.' And, you know, that's kind of like how I've lived the adulthood portion of my life. You know, whether it was honors calculus or whatever I did in high school, I just made sure to hold myself to a standard of consistency and high excellence. You know, I guess my teachers saw it with the recommendations they wrote for me or whatever. But like, that's what I plan to implement now in college, no matter how hard it is. I just want to hold myself to that same standard, even when it just comes to working out, making friends. I just hold myself to that.


Ava: So kind of two follow ups with that -- was there kind of a moment for you where you're like, 'Okay, I need to really work on, like, my discipline and commitment’ and, you know, like get into the whole idea of, like, working on it until it gets easier?  And then, uh, how, how do you do it? How do you keep yourself going, you know? 


Abu: To your first question, it was like, I was seven. My dad is like one of my strongest rocks I’ve ever had in my life. There were only a few times I saw him sad or upset or cry or whatever. It was a phone call – I still could still understand my native language. It was a phone call, and he was saying, like, 'I don't know if we-', and I'm translating it for you now, 'I don't know if we have enough money to, like, survive for tonight or eat', and it was just hearing that as a seven year old. I didn't take it as seriously as I do now. Reflecting on it, he's made a good career and family out of it; but hearing that, and seeing that my family could be in a better spot, and that potentially if me and my younger siblings work toward it, we could get us there – it just motivated me to keep trying. To your second question on, like, how I do it, not sound like a broken record, but I just do it for my family. And, like, not just my family, but like every individual that I like had a great connection with. Whether it was any coaches, past teachers or anything, I feel like they're all pieces that came to me to make the puzzle I am now. Like, talking to you, and like everyone else here, and Dr. Blum, you guys are all adding a different piece and that just makes me who I am today. 

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