Mission 100 Days: What Lies Beyond

By: Gabrielle Kaderli, Contributor

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in college, it’s how to appreciate being alone – not just being alone, but truly enjoying my own company.

Before college, I was really insecure. I relied heavily on the people around me for my own happiness. I felt like I needed others to validate my experiences before I could really enjoy them. I’ve always cared deeply, sometimes too much, about how others perceive me (and admittedly, I’m still working on that). Back then, if I didn’t have a buddy to go with, I usually just wouldn’t go at all.

I remember freshman year, when I enthusiastically signed up for about thirty different clubs. Within a week, my inbox was overflowing with over sixty emails. I tried everything from student government to women’s rugby – which I learned very quickly wasn’t for me. Surprisingly, student government stuck.

For those of you who know me, that probably tracks. But the truth is, I almost didn’t do it. I had no real intention of running in the election until my friend Megan, who was a brand new friend at the time, mentioned she was thinking about it. She encouraged me to run with her, and something about her saying it gave me just enough confidence to go for it.

Looking back, I think about how much student government has shaped my college experience – the leadership roles, the people I met and the lessons I learned. And I think none of that would’ve happened without Meg giving me that initial nudge.

I’ve always loved people. I love meeting people, getting to know them and building connections. I love doing fun things with them: spontaneous ice cream runs, movie nights, chaotic group dinners at Applebee’s and long study sessions in the library. I love wandering in unfamiliar cities with friends I just met in a hostel across the world.

People are such a gift. They offer support, share lessons, and help us see the world from different angles. If I’m honest, I just really want to be friends with everyone.

But something I’ve learned – and really lived – in college is that it’s also incredibly powerful to know you can trust yourself: to know you can be brave on your own. That you can still grow, explore and find joy, even when you’re doing it by yourself.

I’ve tried to lean into that, whether intentionally or not. Because, again, if you know me, you probably also know my friends, who are always busy. They’re running clubs, working full-time jobs, interning, supporting their families and constantly doing the most. They’re all out on their own individual missions. And I realized at some point, I need to have my own mission, too. And sometimes, that means doing things alone.

When junior year rolled around, it was time to finalize my study abroad plans for the spring semester in Scotland. But at the time, I was going through what felt like the hardest semester of my college experience. I felt lonely, a little off, kind of disconnected and I couldn’t quite explain why.

The idea of traveling across the world to “solve” that problem felt like it might just make it worse. That hesitation showed, mostly in how much I procrastinated in planning the trip. My parents noticed it, too. At one point, they even admitted they weren’t sure if I was actually going to get on the plane. 

And honestly? I wasn’t sure either.

I remember thinking it would feel more embarrassing to not go, especially after I’d talked about it for nearly a year and turned down job offers because of it – than to just go and figure it out as I went. Not the most profound motivation, I’ll admit, but I realized that staying wasn’t going to magically fix the funk I was in either. So... I got on the plane.

For the next five months, I was further from anyone I had ever known.

And let me tell you, it was hard. Really hard. If you’ve never spoken to someone from Glasgow before, it’s basically like living in a non-English-speaking country. I couldn’t understand anyone, didn’t know my surroundings and had no familiar faces in sight. It was just me. But all that time alone ended up being exactly what I didn’t know I needed.

It forced me to figure out how to enjoy being with myself, and more than that, it pushed me out of my comfort zone. Because really, what was the point of flying across the world if I was just going to stay in my room?

So, I said screw it, and started saying yes.

Fast forward a bit, and suddenly I’m in a hostel in Budapest with Lea from Montreal and Karis from... Missouri? Indiana? (Sorry, Karis – I forgot.) I went on a two-week solo backpacking trip through seven countries. And in every place, I met new people. I shared stories, got lost, learned things and just had fun!

Sure, there were still days I wandered solo. In Italy I was staying with some other friends studying abroad, but at the time they were in class. If I had just waited around all day for them to finish their lessons, I never would’ve seen Michelangelo’s David! 

Ultimately, know that when you put yourself out there and you're not afraid to adventure alone, you’ll meet people, and you’ll see and learn things that you never would have if you had waited on someone else to accompany you. 

So if you’re a freshman reading this, and maybe your first year feels lonely or underwhelming, I hope this gives you some comfort. Canisius is one of the most loving and accepting places on the planet. I truly believe that. And I love the people who make it what it is. I’m going to miss seeing the ones who became family to me every single day.

But if you’re debating whether to go to take a job in a new city, attend an unfamiliar club meeting, walk into an event where you don’t know anyone, hop on a solo trip, anything – and if you’re hesitating because you’re going alone, please go anyway. You are strong. You are capable. And there’s a sea of kind, curious, incredible people waiting for you – here and beyond.

If I can leave you with anything, let it be this: Life is short, and it deserves to be lived. Don’t waste too much time worrying about that exam tomorrow; just do your best. Like my dad always says, “As long as you tried your best, you should be proud.”

Don’t worry about what people think. Just do your thing. Follow your passions. Don’t be afraid to reach for the stars; the opportunities that come your way at Canisius and beyond are meant for you. Seize them. You will soar if you try.

Lead with empathy. Love deeply. And trust that learning to enjoy your own company might just lead to the best adventure of all.

With all my heart,Gabrielle Emma Kaderli