By: The Golden Griffins
Thanks to everyone who participated: Amanda Ostroske, Dominic Vivolo, Emma McGrath, Lauryn Alston, Mallory Knox, Brya Gardella, Colton Pankiewicz, Madelynn Lockwood, Matt Robertson, Pat Stouter, Alyce Heller, Roslynn Curtis, Mo Hill, Bria Winship, Ryan Harrington, Julian Reynoso, Ava Green, Mikayla Boyd, Courtney Lyons, and Hannah Wiley.
Starting prompt: Guard this with your life
Person 1: It hurts to give it away, but it’s better to be parted than to die with it no longer secure.
Person 2: Actually, only losers give stuff away. If a homeless person asks you for money tell them to “get a job lazybones.”
Person 3: Better yet, steal that homeless person’s meager possessions from them. Winners take stuff.
Person 4: Winners also dominate losers. Show that homeless person that you are superior.
Person 5: Your classist mindset takes over, but it was too late as the homeless person flexes and their hulk-like muscles rip through their shirt.
Person 6: You stand there frozen for a moment as you feel an unfamiliar heat rise on your cheeks, but there’s no time to worry about that as they come charging towards you.
Person 7: You push them aside, hoping to avoid the conflict.
Person 8: I kept going about my way, but avoiding problems seems to bring them back twice as hard.
Person 9: Little to my knowledge, said problems weren’t that far behind, as I heard the cackle that signaled a band of goblins were approaching.
Person 10: But, with the help of my trusty staff, I managed to destroy them all with a fireball! I’m still haunted by the screams…
Person 11: Even still, I hear them in my nightmares. Thankfully, I have my magic cat Barnaby to help me through these tough times.
Person 12: I love Barnaby, I just wish he wouldn’t keep doing that weird little magic dance every time I see him, it’s getting weird.
Person 13: He keeps pulling birds out of super awkward places, I mean how did he even stick one in the toilet?
Person 14: Like how is he going to crawl out of that hole?
Person 15: He crawls out of the hole dirty and greasy. He’s starved from crawling for days and thirsty to the point of collapse. Waiting for him outside is the great demon, and the horror has only just begun.
Person 16: The horror of forgetting one’s anniversary with their lover, he had just realized the mistake he made with the great demon.
Person 17: Whatever would he do now that his hot demon wife felt forgotten and underappreciated?
Person 18: He decided that divorce was the only reasonable option– thank goodness for the prenuptial agreement.
Person 19: But he doesn’t believe in reasonable options, so spousal murder is still on the table.
Person 20: And that's how the cookie crumbles, Womp Womp.
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