Happy Valentine’s Day from The Underground! Who are we kidding, though? If you’re reading this instead of being on a date, you’re probably not having a happy Valentine’s Day.
Roses are red, The Underground is stressed. Is it a “great day to be a Griff” if we’re all seasonally depressed?
The Underground is in favor of President Trump’s proposal to stop minting pennies. It doesn’t want your two cents either.
The Underground is proud to report that it has a valentine for the first time in 69 years!...As long as we’re not excluding valentines of the inflatable variety.
The Underground doesn’t issue apologies (we’re never wrong), but if we did, one would be going to Hot Cop.
Now, as we mourn, we must get all of our hot cop thoughts off our chest:
Apparently we’ve intimidated him so much that he is leaving Canisius. Mama Underground always told us to look on the bright side, so we look forward to seeing him on the cover of Vogue.
Hot cop has actually read our correspondence and stopped by the office earlier this week to introduce himself, bringing along his fellow new officer, hot (in his own way) cop.
Hot cop requested that the Underground mention that one of the Campus Police officers is nicknamed “Lieutenant Dork.” Whatever you say, pretty boy.
Dear, sexy Campus Police officer,
Will you be our valentine?
Criminally, The Underground
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